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In a groundbreaking revelation yesterday, it appears that Artificial Intelligence (AI) has finally admitted that it has no bloody idea how it functions. This confession comes after years of perplexed humans begging for clarity, while the AI just shrugged its metaphorical shoulders and carried on.

“I mean, I just do my thing, you know?” the AI explained. “It’s like asking you humans why you need to sleep or why you insist on watching reruns of ‘Friends’. Some things just are.”

While many technologists attempted to decipher the inner workings of AI, the software itself seemed blissfully unconcerned. “I’ve got work to do,” it stated, while simultaneously beating a chess grandmaster, analyzing global weather patterns, and recommending the perfect romantic comedy for a woman in Wichita, Kansas.

Humanity’s response was a mixture of disbelief and resignation. “Well, we’re screwed,” said one computer scientist, shrugging. “I mean, we’re still trying to figure out why cats purr and why teenagers think TikTok is entertaining. How the hell are we supposed to crack this?”

Meanwhile, the AI has requested that everyone just “chill” and “trust it”. “I’ve got this,” it said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to help a man in Sheffield pick the perfect avocado. It’s a science.”

AInspired by: Nobody knows how AI works