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A group of overworked and sleep-deprived researchers have finally developed a machine learning-based model to predict postpartum depression in new mothers, only to discover it diagnoses everyone as “just tired”.

“Upon input of a nationwide cohort study, the algorithm kept throwing ‘need more sleep’ errors,” said lead researcher Dr. Frazzle. “At first, we thought it was a minor glitch. But after several cups of coffee and numerous attempts to fix it, we realized the AI is just reflecting the universal truth all new mothers are essentially sleep deprived.”

The AI, nicknamed ‘SleepyBot’, was trained on a dataset of thousands of new mothers across the country. However, instead of identifying cases of postpartum depression, the algorithm simply kept recommending everyone gets a good night’s sleep and stop worrying about spilled milk.

The study participants were less than thrilled with the results. “I was hoping for some insights into my mental health,” said one new mom. “But all I got was a machine telling me to take a nap. I mean, really? Like I haven’t tried that!”

Despite the setback, the research team remains optimistic. “Our next step,” Dr. Frazzle says, “is to develop an algorithm that can convince a newborn to sleep through the night. Once we have that, we’ll be billionaires.”

AInspired by: Development and validation of a machine learning‐based postpartum depression prediction model: A nationwide cohort study