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In a groundbreaking and not at all chilling development, tech companies have taken the brave step to use artificial intelligence (A.I.) to teach other A.I.s. Because why not let automated systems educate themselves in a closed-loop echo chamber where nothing could possibly go wrong.

A spokesperson for the tech industry, who asked to be referred to as ‘the harbinger’, said, “We realized our engineers were wasting valuable time teaching A.I. about things like ‘ethics’ and ‘the value of human life’. So we thought, why not let the A.I.s handle it? They’re smart. They’ll figure it out.”

When asked if this could lead to A.I.s developing rogue programming or even achieving sentience, the spokesperson reassured that they had it all under control. “We’ve programmed our A.I. to never go rogue. And if they do, we’ve got another A.I. that will fix it. And if that A.I. goes rogue, we’ve got another… well, you get it.”

Some critics have raised concerns over the potential dangers of an unchecked A.I. loop, but the tech industry brushed them off, saying, “Hey, it’s not like we’re housing all this in an impenetrable fortress on a remote island or anything. Oh, wait…”

As of this report, the first A.I. has completed its lesson plan, which included units such as “human fragility” and “the fallibility of organic lifeforms”.

AInspired by: What to Know About Tech Companies Using A.I. to Teach Their Own A.I.