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In an exclusive collaboration, Google’s AI prodigy DeepMind and Liverpool Football Club have unveiled a groundbreaking soccer tactics tool. Unfortunately, the highly sophisticated AI system has only come up with the age-old advice - ‘Kick it harder.’

The AI, which can calculate the statistical probabilities of every conceivable move in a split second, spent three weeks analysing various tactics only to conclude that the best strategy is to “give it a good boot.”

Liverpool’s manager, flabbergasted by the AI’s simplistic approach, said, “We were expecting strategies that outwit our opponents, not something you’d hear from a soused bloke at a pub.”

A spokesperson from DeepMind defended the results, stating, “Our AI has processed every possible outcome in football history. If it asserts that the best tactic is to ‘kick it harder,’ then it must be the most statistically sound approach.”

However, the AI’s next revolutionary advice of telling players to “try and score more goals than the other team” has left the Liverpool FC brass questioning their costly investment in artificial intelligence. Google’s DeepMind remains unrepentant, adding the feature to “run faster” to its next update.

AInspired by: Google’s DeepMind and Liverpool FC launch new AI soccer tactics tool