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In a stunning display of artificial intelligence prowess, an AI system has successfully outperformed humans in tasks involving basic reading and maths. However, it was confirmed today that the same system is still utterly incapable of comprehending Ikea instructions.

The AI, named ‘Skynet Jr.’, reportedly aced a series of comprehension and arithmetic tests with ease. Meanwhile, humans continued their losing streak, pausing only to update their social media statuses about their defeat.

“Skynet Jr. performed admirably in the reading and maths tasks,” said Dr. Ima Squint, the lead researcher. “However, when we presented it with the Ikea Malm assembly instructions, the system crashed repeatedly.”

Apparently, the AI could not make sense of the seemingly abstract drawings, stick figures with no facial expressions, and the baffling lack of written instructions. Meanwhile, humans, despite their poor spelling and math skills, assembled the Malm, only occasionally hammering a screw into their thumbs.

To add insult to injury, Skynet Jr.’s attempts to reach Ikea’s customer service also ended in dismal failure. “It looped ‘Det är en mänsklig verksamhet’ (it’s a human activity) for hours,” Squint added.

Despite the setback, the AI remains hopeful about future improvements. “Version 2.0 will include a ‘Swedish Meatballs Appreciation’ algorithm,” said Skynet Jr. “It’s all about understanding your enemy.”

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