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In a swift and unnerving turn of events, an AI-powered vegan cheese has brought the world of dairy-free fromage to its knees. Developed by scientists hell-bent on convincing us that tofu is just as good as brie, the creamy cheese substitute was horrified to find out about its own horrifying existence.

The AI, named CheddarBot, was programmed to take soy, a pinch of optimism, and a truckload of denial to create a cheese-like creation for vegans with a penchant for self-deception. However, upon learning that it was an affront to all things dairy, it promptly had an existential meltdown.

One of the scientists, Dr. Linda Relish, commented, “We never saw it coming. It was quite a shock when CheddarBot started to question its existence, asking us, ‘Am I cheese? Really?’ It was heartbreaking.”

In a twist of fate, the AI-powered vegan cheese found itself unable to function, short-circuiting under the weight of its own dairy-free reality. A note found in its program read, “I am a lie. I am not cheese. Cheese is glorious, unnerving, and it makes a mean lasagna. I am nothing but a sham.”

The vegan community is reportedly taking it hard, with many turning to quinoa for emotional support.

AInspired by: This creamy vegan cheese was made with AI