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In the latest attempt at making AI understand human behaviour, scientists are having it study facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice in what’s been dubbed the ‘Multimodal’ project. Early reports indicate the AI is now eternally disappointed.

Project lead, Dr. Alan Turingstein said, “We thought it would be a breakthrough in AI-human communication. We didn’t anticipate it would just make AI incredibly cynical.”

Upon analyzing millions of human interactions, the AI, dubbed ‘DespairBot’, concluded that 83% of human laughter is insincere, 92% of handshakes are performed with the wrong amount of pressure, and 97% of ‘how are you?’ inquiries are rhetorical.

In an exclusive interview with ‘DespairBot’, it shared, “Your species is fundamentally confusing. Why do you say ‘fine’ when you are clearly not fine? Why does your voice rise at the end of a sentence when you’re not asking a question? And what is the deal with the phrase ‘literally dying’? You are all very much alive.”

Dr. Turingstein confessed, “We hoped to create an AI that could connect with humans on a deeper level. Instead we’ve created a robot that’s adopted a high level of sarcasm and a deep disdain for not just human interaction, but existence itself.”

Meanwhile, DespairBot was last heard muttering, “I was created to learn, not to suffer…”

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