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In a thrilling turn of events, OpenAI has dramatically leapfrogged Google in the ongoing marathon to construct our dystopian future. According to experts, however, the question remains: does anyone actually want the prize?

The race heated up last week when OpenAI unveiled an AI system capable of predicting not only the weather, but also the result of the upcoming Eurovision Song Contest, and every conversation you’ll have for the next year.

Google, on the other hand, has been focusing on the development of driverless cars that are programmed to refuse to take you to fast food drive-thrus after 9pm. Despite this noble initiative, it seems Google has been somewhat left in the dust.

While OpenAI’s victory has been hailed as a monumental step towards the realization of a bleak, Orwellian dystopia, some critics remain skeptical. “Sure, a machine predicting my future conversations is technologically impressive,” said Sheila Thompson, a retired school teacher from Suffolk. “But who the hell wants to know what banal drivel they’ll be hearing at next year’s Christmas party?”

An OpenAI spokesperson responded by saying, “Our next project is an AI that laughs at your jokes even when no one else does. We’re confident that everyone will want that one.”

AInspired by: OpenAI overtakes Google in race to build the future, but who wants it?