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In a shocking development, the artificial intelligence community has reportedly mastered the groundbreaking technology of browsing old records. AI is now equipped with enhanced ‘retrieval-augmented generation’ abilities, a feature that any human with a functioning memory has had since forever.

Without a hint of irony, scientists are excited about AI’s newfound skill to do something that humans, animals, and even some plants have been doing since the dawn of time. “It’s like giving a fish a bicycle,” said Professor of Common Sense, Dr. Logic. “But in the case, the fish is a computer, and the bicycle is the ability to effectively use the ‘ctrl + F’ function.”

By harnessing this ‘cutting-edge’ technology, AI can now sift through its previous data to simulate what humans would call ‘remembering stuff’. “It’s incredible,” said an anonymous tech enthusiast, clutching his vintage keyboard. “Next, they’ll be telling us AI has developed the skills to switch itself on and off or even plug itself in when it’s low on power.”

Despite the hype, experts remain skeptical. “Call me when AI learns to guilt-trip you into eating more at family gatherings or knit a decent scarf. Until then, my Grandma remains undefeated,” remarked Dr. Logic.


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