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In an unprecedented act of corporate wizardry, Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella has turned the tables on the business world by exponentially inflating Microsoft’s value during his decade-long tenure instead of frittering it away on extravagant executive bonuses, private jet trips, and company-sponsored golf tournaments.

Nadella, the soothsayer of Silicon Valley, has reportedly accomplished this by focusing on such trivial pursuits as “innovation,” “customer satisfaction,” and “effective business strategies.” As a result, Microsoft has seen a tenfold increase in value, a feat so extraordinary we had to call in a team of mathematicians to confirm that the value did, in fact, not decrease.

In the wake of this success, Nadella now aims to conquer the Artificial Intelligence (AI) age, presumably by introducing groundbreaking concepts such as “relevancy” and “future-proofing.” Experts are skeptical about whether such radical methods can work in a field notorious for its adherence to outdated methodologies and complacency.

A spokesperson for Microsoft mentioned, “Just imagine, if Nadella can make Microsoft 10 times more valuable by actually doing his job effectively, perhaps there’s hope for the rest of us. Unless AI ends up doing all our jobs, of course.” He then chuckled nervously before returning to his Excel spreadsheet.

AInspired by: Satya Nadella has made Microsoft 10 times more valuable in his decade as CEO. Can he stay ahead in the AI age?