Selective Hearing Headphones Now Allowing Your Mum's Nagging Through
In a revealing testament to the extent of human laziness and unwillingness to use ear muscles, leading tech firm, InYourEar, has announced the release of new noise-cancelling headphones that exclusively let your mother’s nagging through.
The headphones, a groundbreaking product of artificial intelligence, have been launched with the tagline: “Because you can’t pretend you didn’t hear her anymore.”
InYourEar CEO, Ron Tinson, has hailed the innovation as a galactic leap in technology. “We’ve always been at the forefront of developing gadgets to help you avoid life, and now we’ve created a headphone that lets you selectively hear your mum’s reminders about your messy room or your failure to achieve anything significant in life.”
Using state-of-the-art AI, the headphones analyze and identify specific vocal patterns, allowing only the nurturing scold of maternal figures to filter through the wall of sound barrier.
Although initially met with widespread terror, many customers have found a silver lining in this auditory horror show. “It’s just like being a teenager again,” said one nostalgic 35-year-old, “I can zone out while pretending to listen to my mum’s rants about my diet, girlfriend, or precarious financial situation.”
InYourEar has already confirmed plans for future models to let through the voices of disgruntled spouses, nagging bosses, and whiny pets.
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