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In a desperate bid to cut costs and increase efficiency, several media companies have decided to replace their hardworking, slightly alcoholic journalists with emotionless, sarcasm-immune machines.

These AI-powered software still struggle to decode the nuances of human language, yet media moguls seem convinced that they can write news stories or produce ‘Breaking News’ about some celebrity’s latest haircut.

Online news outlet, The Daily Guffaw, recently replaced its top reporter with an AI system. To test it, they fed the bot a quote from British Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, about Brexit being a smashing success. The AI, possessing no sense of irony, took it at face value and produced a glowing report on Britain’s post-Brexit prosperity, making no mention of the country’s plunging pound or skyrocketing prices of Freddo chocolate bars.

Meanwhile, The 24/7 Scoop’s new AI journalist, upon hearing that a man survived an encounter with a grizzly bear by playing dead, wrote an article encouraging readers to engage in deadly wildlife encounters for fun.

There are still hurdles to overcome, such as the fact that the AI can’t yet distinguish between satire and genuine news. So if you see a headline claiming that the Queen has adopted an alien baby, don’t be too surprised!

Media companies, however, remain optimistic. A spokesperson from The Daily Guffaw said, “We’re confident that in the very near future, AI will be able to write in-depth, nuanced articles about the Kardashians’ latest selfies.”

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