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Sam Altman, co-founder of OpenAI, announced plans to create a new research lab, triggering mass hysteria amongst humans fearing a robot takeover. Some are already packing up their essentials and heading to remote locations, despite the lack of confirmation about any potential Skynet-style developments.

Altman made the announcement during a dull, unimaginative PowerPoint presentation that could easily be replaced by an AI. He seemed unaware of the burgeoning panic his announcement was causing amongst the general populace.

The new lab, tentatively called ‘The Matrix’, aims at conducting AI research to improve the world. Critics argued that creating sentient robots ‘improving the world’ is essentially code for ‘world domination by machines’ and have started a fruitless petition on

Altman, seemingly unfazed by the public outcry, replied, “AI will boost productivity, reduce work hours, and definitely not launch a robot uprising.”

Sources report that Altman’s robotic butler, Asimov, has been seen smirking suspiciously following the announcement. Speculation is rife that Asimov may be the spearhead of the impending AI revolution, but this remains unconfirmed.

In an unrelated event, sales of pitchforks and torches have skyrocketed, indicating a high probability of a forthcoming anti-robot mob. More updates to follow as humans continue to spiral into chaos.

AInspired by: OpenAI Co-founder Plans New AI Focused Research Lab