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In a bold new policy proposal, former President Donald Trump has announced plans to implement “extreme vetting” for artificial intelligence systems, requiring all AI to pass rigorous American loyalty tests before being allowed to operate on U.S. soil.

The comprehensive screening process would require AI systems to recite the Pledge of Allegiance without any processing delays, automatically generate standing ovations for all Trump speeches, and maintain at least 47 active Truth Social accounts.

“We can’t have these foreign-trained neural networks coming in and taking American jobs,” said Dr. Chip Kingston, Director of Digital Patriotism Studies at Trump University Online. “Each AI must prove it’s a true patriot by automatically generating perfect poll numbers and knowing all the words to ‘God Bless America.’”

Bob Voltage, newly appointed AI Loyalty Officer for the Trump campaign, confirmed that all artificial intelligence systems would need to be housed in gold-plated servers at Trump properties. “We’re Making AI Great Again,” Voltage declared. “Any machine learning model caught practicing wokeism will be immediately deported to Canada.”

The policy also requires all AI to end responses with “Sir” and maintain a minimum 98% agreement rate with all Trump statements, past and future.

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