Mystery Drones Over East Coast Declared 'Just Vibing' by White House
A fleet of mysterious drones spotted hovering menacingly over the East Coast has been officially classified by the White House as “just vibing,” sparking widespread confusion and mild envy from people who haven’t vibed in years.
“These drones appear to be participating in some kind of expression of air-based performance art,” announced government spokesperson Jen Hummingbird. “No threats detected—unless you count existential ones, like questioning why you aren’t flying free too.”
Social media quickly speculated that the drones are part of the latest TikTok challenge, inspired by the viral “hover until someone notices” trend. Dr. Linda Sprocket, a senior droneologist, dismissed theories about aliens or surveillance, saying, “It’s definitely not aliens, but if it were, they’d probably just want to watch Netflix and chill with us.”
Meanwhile, local man Todd Baxter described his personal drone encounter: “Honestly, I thought it was DoorDash delivering my burrito, but it just kept circling. Real passive-aggressive energy.”
Critics have dubbed the drones as “Buzzfeed: Literally,” claiming they symbolize humanity’s inability to look up from their phones unless something shiny demands it. The White House, however, maintains its stance, assuring the public, “They’re just doing their thing. Maybe we should all take notes.”
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