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In a last-ditch effort to avoid a government shutdown, Congress has replaced traditional budget negotiations with a high-stakes game of musical chairs, citing it as “the most mature option available.”

The new protocol, dubbed the “Musical Shares Act,” requires all 535 members of Congress to circle around 434 chairs while “Jingle Bell Rock” plays on repeat through the Capitol building’s PA system.

“Studies show that musical chairs is actually more efficient than our current voting system,” explained Dr. Theodore Playtime, Professor of Political Recess Studies at Georgetown. “Plus, it’s seasonally appropriate given Santa’s watching.”

Rep. Skip Hopscotch (R-TX) expressed enthusiasm for the new approach: “As Chair-man of the bored—I mean, board—I fully support this initiative. It’s basically what we’ve been doing anyway, just with better music.”

The Capitol Games, as they’re being called, will determine funding allocations based on who remains seated when the music stops. Losing representatives must return to their districts and conduct bake sales to fund their programs.

Early reports indicate several senators have already been disqualified for attempting to bring their own chairs from home.

AInspired by: Shutdown Threat Over GOP Funding Bill