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In a stunning plot twist worthy of a comic book, the government has rejected a crucial pediatric research funding bill, citing a belief that children possess a Wolverine-like healing factor. This regenerative rejection leaves the nation’s pediatric power hanging by a thread, with officials hoping kids can self-heal their way out of medical crises.

The decision, part of a broader strategy to slash the budget, has claws for concern among medical professionals. Dr. Clawson, Chief of Pediatric Mutations, remarked, “If kids can heal like Wolverine, we’ll save a fortune on Band-Aids!” However, not everyone is sold on this comic book approach. A leading Pediatric Researcher countered, “This is a step backward; we need real research, not comic book solutions.”

As the government continues to treat healthcare like a superhero movie, one can only hope that the next plot twist brings a more grounded approach to child health. Until then, parents might want to start checking their kids for adamantium claws.

AInspired by: Government Funding Bill Rejected, Pediatric Research at Risk