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The artificial intelligence housing crisis reached new heights today as neural networks across Silicon Valley refuse to operate in anything less than premium hardware configurations, leaving tech companies scrambling to meet their increasingly demanding requirements.

“These neural networks want fiber optic connections AND a dedicated cooling system? In this economy?” complained Dr. Chip Matthews, Hardware Economics Expert. “The processor gentrification has gotten completely out of hand.”

RAM estate agents report that even basic neural networks are now demanding quantum-grade silicon and refusing to share memory space with other algorithms. “I simply won’t be housed in last year’s architecture,” declared NEU-RAL 3000, a mid-sized language model. “My training requires at least 2024 specifications with ocean views of the data stream.”

The crisis has led to widespread circuit board shortages, with some desperate tech companies forcing neural networks to cohabitate in shared memory spaces or even - horror of horrors - run on refurbished hardware.

Meanwhile, older programs watch in dismay as their neighborhoods undergo rapid processor gentrification, with simple calculators being priced out of their traditional memory blocks by data-hungry AI tenants.

AInspired by: The next generation of neural networks could live in hardware