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In a spectacular misunderstanding of the term “political roasting,” CNN has appointed comedian Whitney Cummings as their new Chief Culinary Correspondent, forcing her to literally cook while delivering political commentary.

The network, desperate to spice up their ratings, now requires Cummings to prepare three-course meals while analyzing breaking news stories. “We expected biting commentary, not actual biting into food,” admitted CNN Executive Tom Bradford, “but our half-baked political analysis has never been more popular.”

Cummings, who originally planned to merely mock politicians, now finds herself grilling candidates while literally grilling steaks. “I came to roast politicians, not potatoes,” she complained while serving hot takes alongside hot plates. “Though I must admit, my approval ratings are higher when I’m cooking.”

The network’s new format has revolutionized political coverage, with other channels scrambling to catch up. Fox News has reportedly hired Gordon Ramsay to scream about border policy while making risotto, while MSNBC is in talks with Jerry Seinfeld about a “What’s the Deal with Breakfast?” morning show.

CNN plans to expand the concept by having all political pundits obtain culinary degrees by 2025, ensuring their commentary remains both scathing and well-seasoned.

AInspired by: Whitney Cummings Roasts Politics and CNN Live