NVIDIA's New Graphics Card Requires Personal Nuclear Reactor, Creates Alternate Dimensions
NVIDIA’s latest RTX 50 series graphics card has drawn criticism from energy providers and quantum physicists alike, as early testing reveals it requires its own nuclear reactor and has begun generating unauthorized parallel universes.
“The power draw is unprecedented,” explains John Powergrid of the National Energy Commission. “We’ve had to rezone residential areas as nuclear sites just so people can play Minecraft with ray tracing enabled.”
The new “Nuclear-Vidia” GPU has already caused several concerning incidents, including a teenager’s gaming PC creating a temporal rift after attempting to run Cyberpunk 2077 at maximum settings. Local authorities have reported multiple cases of gamers accidentally entering alternative dimensions while adjusting their refresh rates.
Dr. Werner Kernel, lead scientist at the Nuclear Physics Institute, warns: “We’re seeing frame rates so high they’re literally tearing holes in the space-time continuum. Plus, the electricity bill is astronomical.”
NVIDIA has defended the product, stating that “reality-bending side effects” were clearly listed in the fine print, and that requiring a personal nuclear reactor for operation is “the natural evolution of PC gaming.”
The company plans to address concerns by releasing a slightly less powerful variant that only needs a small hydroelectric dam to function.
AInspired by: NVIDIA RTX 50 Series Unveiled at CES 2025