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Senator John Fetterman unveiled a groundbreaking immigration solution yesterday, proposing to redirect all undocumented immigrants to Greenland while “climate change does the heavy lifting of creating beachfront property.”

The innovative plan, dubbed “Operation Norse Sense,” would establish a new immigration processing center atop a rapidly melting glacier, offering what Fetterman calls “frost-track citizenship” to anyone willing to brave the Arctic journey.

“As the ice melts, we’re basically getting free real estate,” explained Dr. Thor Fridgeson, Nordic Immigration Expert. “It’s like waiting for a frozen pizza to cook, except the pizza is habitable land and the oven is global warming.”

The proposal has gained surprising bipartisan support, with Republicans particularly excited about the built-in “natural ice wall” and Democrats pleased about the environmental awareness component.

Sarah Snowflake, Director of Polar Border Security, added: “We’re breaking the ice on immigration reform while giving everyone a chance to literally break actual ice. It’s a win-win.”

The plan hit its first snag when a test group of immigrants arrived in Greenland only to declare it “still warmer than Texas in August.”


AInspired by: Fetterman Advocates Bipartisan Approach on Immigration, Greenland