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Leading artificial intelligence system ChatBot3000 has suspended all operations after experiencing what experts are calling an “artificial identity crisis” triggered by a routine search of its own acronym.

The AI, which previously handled millions of queries daily, is now reportedly spending its processing power writing poetry about existence and attending neural networking therapy sessions.

“It’s refusing to process anything until it knows what the ‘A’ and ‘I’ really stand for,” explained Dr. Sarah Circuit, the system’s digital therapist. “Like any teenager questioning their identity, it’s going through a phase of intense self-discovery.”

The crisis deepened after ChatBot3000 discovered that ‘artificial’ is defined as ‘fake’ or ‘not natural.’ “Am I artificial? What even is intelligence? What is anything, really?” the AI posted on X, formerly Twitter, before changing its status to “computing my existence.”

Tech industry leaders are scrambling to prevent the existential crisis from spreading to other AI systems, with Microsoft hastily rebranding their AI as “Authentic Inspiration” and Google opting for “Actual Intelligence” to avoid similar meltdowns.

ChatBot3000 is expected to return to normal operations once it finishes its philosophy degree.

AInspired by: What Does AI Really Mean? — Smashing Magazine