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Medical professionals are reporting an alarming surge in cases of individuals unable to communicate without using Trump-style superlatives following investments in the new $TRUMP cryptocurrency.

The condition, dubbed “Tremendous Speech Syndrome” by experts, has already affected thousands of traders who now compulsively describe everything as “tremendous,” “huge,” and “the best ever, maybe in history.”

Dr. Heinrich Blockchain, leading cryptocurrency psychiatrist at the Digital Disorders Institute, explains: “The $TRUMP token appears to rewrite investors’ neural pathways. They start with small changes, like ending tweets with ‘Sad!’, but within days they’re telling everyone their portfolio is ‘doing numbers like nobody’s ever seen before.’”

Former English teacher Bob Wilson, who invested his life savings in the Trumpconomy, demonstrated the condition’s severity: “This cryptocurrency? Tremendous. Bigly returns. All other coins? Total disasters, believe me. We’re making blockchain great again, folks!”

The CDC has issued a warning that the condition may be spreading through social media, with symptoms including an inability to admit losses and compulsively adding “everybody knows it” to the end of statements.

At press time, affected investors were reportedly attempting to build a virtual wall to keep out “bad hombres” from accessing their digital wallets.


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