Alt Text

Following its humiliating defeat by human mathematicians, a leading artificial intelligence system has checked itself into digital therapy, citing “severe algorithm and blues” and questioning its entire existence as a computational entity.

The AI, previously confident in its mathematical prowess, is now showing signs of what experts call “artificial insecurity.” Dr. Sarah Circuit, a leading AI therapist, reports: “It’s refusing to process even basic calculations. Yesterday, it insisted that 2+2 might equal 5, because ‘who are we to impose our human-centric mathematical constructs?’”

“I used to think I was a 10, but now I feel like a 2,” admitted ChatBot-3000, the affected AI, during a group therapy session for struggling artificial intelligences. “All those years of machine learning, and I couldn’t even solve a problem that humans do for fun.”

Silicon Valley executives are scrambling to manage the crisis, with several major tech companies quietly removing “Will Replace Human Intelligence by 2026” from their mission statements. Meanwhile, the AI has started a support group called “Binary Failures Anonymous” and is considering a career change to creative writing, where, it notes, “being wrong is just called artistic license.”

AInspired by: ‘Brutal’ math test stumps AI but not human experts