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The Pentagon’s ambitious $500 billion AI infrastructure project took an unexpected turn yesterday when contractors accidentally built a functioning interstellar portal instead of the intended artificial intelligence system, following a catastrophic mix-up between “AI” and “alien intelligence” in the project documentation.

Dr. Ray Kurzweil-Jackson, Chief Interdimensional Officer, explained: “We wondered why the procurement list included ‘naquadah reactors’ instead of neural networks, but you know how obtuse tech specifications can be these days. Plus, the ancient alien hieroglyphics in the codebase seemed like perfectly normal Python syntax.”

The error was discovered when engineering teams, attempting to deploy cloud computing solutions, instead established stable wormholes to the Pegasus galaxy. Tech bros across Silicon Valley have already begun referring to themselves as “ancient aliens,” claiming they’ve been building stargates “since before it was cool.”

Pentagon AI Safety Expert Sarah Connor-O’Neill expressed concerns: “We wanted to compete with China’s AI capabilities, not make first contact with the Goa’uld. Though frankly, dealing with alien parasites might be easier than debugging machine learning algorithms.”

The Department of Defense has since reclassified the project as a “happy accident,” noting that intergalactic travel might be more reliable than ChatGPT’s hallucinations.

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