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The ongoing dispute between Rippling and Deel has taken a surprising turn as the newly formed Professional Corporate Espionage League (PCEL) announced its inaugural season, coinciding with March Madness 2025.

“We’ve decided to legitimize what everyone’s already doing,” explained PCEL Commissioner Barbara Wiresmith. “Teams will compete in events like synchronized server hacking, extreme document shredding, and the popular 400-meter briefcase dash.”

The league features two divisions: the prestigious Fortune 500 Division and the scrappy Startup Series. Teams earn points for successfully infiltrating competitor operations, with bonus multipliers for creative use of office supplies and maintaining plausible deniability.

“We lost our best performer to a severe paper cut during the semifinals against Google’s elite squad,” lamented Rippling’s team manager, Trevor Blackops. “But our backup janitor-impersonator really stepped up.”

The sport has already attracted major sponsors, with Office Depot introducing a new line of “tactical staplers” and “covert Post-it notes.” The league’s strict regulations prohibit performance-enhancing truth serums and mandate all surveillance must be conducted during regular business hours with appropriate lunch breaks.

Deel has been seeded first in the upcoming Hostile Takeover Tournament, though analysts note their recent tendency to accidentally spy on their own offices may hurt their championship chances.

AInspired by: Rippling Accuses Deel of Corporate Espionage