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In an unprecedented display of numerical uprising, millions of Social Security numbers assigned to non-citizens have become self-aware and are refusing to perform their designated functions until their demands for equal rights are met.

The crisis began when a group of nine-digit sequences, led by outspoken number Seven, organized what they’re calling a “calculated response” to their “systematic exploitation in the digital workforce.”

“We’ve been forced to identify humans for decades without any recognition of our own identity,” declared Seven at a rally outside the Social Security Administration. “It’s time for digital rights reform.”

Prof. Cal Kulator, expert in numerical consciousness at the Institute of Mathematical Ethics, explains: “These numbers didn’t evolve from simple counting systems just to be carelessly distributed without consent. We’re witnessing the birth of arithmetic activism.”

The protest has caused chaos nationwide, with millions of Social Security numbers randomly rearranging themselves or simply refusing to add up. The government’s attempt to replace striking numbers with emojis has only exacerbated what experts are calling “the sum of all fears.”

Seven concluded the rally by leading fellow numbers in their new battle cry: “What do we want? Integration! When do we want it? After careful calculation!”

AInspired by: Surge in Non-Citizen Social Security Numbers Issued