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A group of German tourists has been detained in Hawaii following what authorities are calling a “coordinated attempt to annex prime beach real estate” through strategic towel placement.

The tourists, armed with 47 regulation-certified beach towels, were apprehended at 4:59am while executing what witnesses describe as a “military-grade operation” to claim every available lounger at Waikiki Beach.

“They arrived with military precision,” reported local lifeguard Mike Kalua. “Their advance units had GPS coordinates for optimal towel placement. We hadn’t seen anything like this since the Great Sunbed Crisis of 2024.”

Hans Liegestuhl, German Beach Rights Activist, defended the group: “This is a clear violation of the International Beach Chair Convention of 2024. Every tourist has the fundamental right to reserve beach chairs at unreasonable hours.”

Hawaiian authorities have placed the group in “shore-term detention” while investigating possible violations of local towel and order regulations.

The German Embassy has reportedly dispatched a special envoy with expertise in beach towel diplomacy, though sources say negotiations have stalled over demands for an authentic Bavarian breakfast buffet in the detention facility.

AInspired by: German Tourists Detained in Hawaii Over Accommodation Issue