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In an unprecedented move to streamline government efficiency, former President Donald Trump has appointed himself as IRS Commissioner, transforming the tax agency into what he calls “The Internal Revenue Circus.”

The reorganization includes replacing traditional audits with primetime television episodes where taxpayers must defend their deductions before a panel of Trump-selected judges, with losers hearing his signature “You’re fired!” before being handed their tax bills.

“Nobody knows taxes better than me, folks. I’ve avoided… I mean paid more taxes than anyone in history,” Trump declared at a gold-leafed press conference. “We’re making the W-2 forms beautiful, with gold trim and my signature in big, beautiful letters.”

The new Trump-led IRS has already announced several reforms, including accepting Trump Tower timeshares as payment for back taxes and automatically classifying all golf courses as “environmental conservation areas.”

When questioned about potential conflicts of interest, Trump assured reporters that he would recuse himself from any decisions involving his own taxes, which he noted “are still under audit and therefore perfect, maybe the most perfect taxes ever.”

Tax experts warn this could be the biggest transformation of the IRS since it started accepting livestock as payment during the Great Depression.

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