Government's Anti-Brotherhood Crusade Accidentally Labels Big Brother Show As Terrorist Organization
In a bureaucratic blunder that has reality TV executives scrambling, the U.S. government’s sweeping initiative to label brotherhood organizations as terrorist groups has accidentally designated the Big Brother television show as an “immediate threat to national security.”
The error occurred when an overzealous intern at the newly-created Department of Brotherhood Security flagged any organization containing the word “brother” in its name. The ban has already affected dozens of innocent groups, creating what officials are calling “a family reunion gone terribly wrong.”
“Next thing you know, they’ll label the Brotherhood of Locomotive Engineers as train terrorists,” warned Transportation Secretary Tom Williams, while nervously eyeing a passing Amtrak train. “We’ve already had to detain three Christian Brothers wine merchants and the entire Brotherhood of Traveling Pants book club.”
Marcel Silence, leader of the Brotherhood of Mime Artists, expressed his opposition through an elaborate series of gestures that federal agents interpreted as “highly suspicious activity.”
The Department of Brotherhood Security has announced plans to review all cases, but warns the process could take years due to their new 47,000-page “Brother, Where Art Thou Security Clearance?” application form.
AInspired by: U.S. Begins Process to Label Muslim Brotherhood Terrorist