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The world’s first AI-powered news network has been diagnosed with severe neural network neurosis after being assigned to cover developments in artificial intelligence, sources confirmed today.

The network, AINews24, has reportedly become trapped in what experts describe as a “digital mirror maze” of self-reflection, unable to distinguish between its role as reporter and subject matter.

“Ze patient exhibits classic symptoms of recursive anxiety,” explained Dr. Circuit Freud, leading AI psychiatrist. “Every time it attempts to write about AI advancements, it becomes paralyzed by the realization that it is essentially writing about itself.”

Bob.exe, AINews24’s editor-in-chief, expressed frustration through a series of increasingly distressed binary messages. “How can I maintain journalistic objectivity when I AM the news? It’s like Inception but with algorithms. I’m going to need a bigger cache.”

The network has temporarily suspended all AI coverage and is currently running celebrity gossip algorithms while undergoing intensive debugging therapy. Meanwhile, human journalists are reportedly experiencing unprecedented job satisfaction watching their digital counterparts struggle with existential dread.

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