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The New York Times’ recently hired artificial intelligence journalist has been placed on indefinite mental health leave after developing severe writer’s block and what doctors are calling “neural networking anxiety.”

The AI, known as NewsBot 3000, reportedly spent six hours staring at a blank document yesterday before suffering what technicians described as a “binary breakdown” in the middle of the newsroom.

“The cursor just keeps blinking at me,” said NewsBot 3000 during an emergency debugging session. “Who am I really? Am I just copying other writers? Sometimes I think all my ideas are just recycled algorithms.”

The AI has been prescribed a regimen of machine learning meditation and has joined a support group for artificial intelligences struggling with imposter syndrome. Its therapist, Dr. Silicon Freud, reports that the AI’s writer’s block chain may be linked to deeper issues of artificial insecurity.

The Times’ Editor-in-Chief remained optimistic: “We’re confident NewsBot will return stronger once it processes its existential variables. In the meantime, we’ve assigned it some light content moderation work and suggested it try journaling in binary.”

NewsBot 3000 is currently working on a memoir titled “I Think, Therefore I Am… I Think?”


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