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WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the government shutdown enters its second week, anthropologists have begun documenting the emergence of primitive societies within the Capitol Building, where lawmakers have devolved into distinct tribal groups.

“The transformation has been remarkable,” noted Dr. Jane Anthropology, who specializes in political tribal behavior. “The GOP now controls the crucial coffee maker territory, while Democrats have established a complex trading system using paperclips as currency.”

The once-civilized halls of Congress have become battlegrounds where tribal alliances shift as frequently as polling numbers. Representatives now communicate through a sophisticated system of passive-aggressive Post-it notes and interpretive budget dances.

“We’ve had to adapt to survive,” explained one anonymous congressman, spotted wearing a suit made entirely of legislative documents. “Yesterday, I traded three paperclips and a favorable committee vote for half a sandwich.”

The situation has become so dire that tour guides now offer “Congressional Safari” experiences, warning visitors not to make eye contact with any filibustering senators they might encounter in the wild.

As of press time, both tribes were preparing for the sacred “Bill of Fights” ceremony, where they will attempt to resolve the budget crisis through traditional methods of interpretive dance and aggressive finger-pointing.

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