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In a groundbreaking move for artificial intelligence, Meta has hired Andrew Tulloch, an AI expert who demonstrated his expertise by masterfully ghosting a $1.5 billion offer from a rival tech company.

Tulloch will lead Meta’s new “Neural No-works” division, focused on teaching AI systems the subtle art of rejection through Meta-physical negotiations. The initiative aims to create AI that can convincingly ignore humans while making them think it’s their fault.

“Our AI can now say ‘no’ in 47 languages and 238 passive-aggressive ways,” explained Tulloch. “The future isn’t about AI taking jobs - it’s about AI turning them down while making humans feel inadequate.”

The program has already shown promising results, with Meta’s chatbots successfully leaving users on “read” and responding with cryptic emoji combinations that experts describe as “emotionally devastating.”

Early tests reveal the AI has mastered advanced rejection techniques, including “sorry, I’m washing my neural networks that day” and “it’s not you, it’s my algorithm.”

Meta spokesperson Sarah Chen added: “We’re confident this technology will revolutionize the way machines ignore humanity’s desperate attempts at connection, just in time for Valentine’s Day 2026.”

AInspired by: AI Co-Founder Andrew Tulloch Joins Meta After Rejecting $1.5 Billion Offer